If someone has died
When someone dies: the first few hours
Read the part that matches where the person is. The rest of this page is written for the morning, and the morning is soon enough for all of it.
If someone has just died, ring us before you do anything else. 000-000-0000 — answered at every hour of every day. Nothing has to be decided on that call. The telephone number on this site is a placeholder and nobody answers it. If someone has died and you need a funeral director now, please call a real one in your area.
This page is in the order you are likely to need it. Who to ring, which depends on where the person is now. What happens after you ring us. Then the short list of things that genuinely cannot happen before daylight, whoever you call.
The first thing to know
You do not have to decide anything tonight
There is one decision in front of you tonight, and it is not the funeral.
The only decision tonight is which funeral home to ring
You do not have to decide anything tonight. The only decision in the first hours is which funeral home to call, and even that can be changed afterwards. Everything else — burial or cremation, a service or none, which day, who speaks — waits until the morning, and waits longer than that if you need it to.
The right first call depends on where the person is
Ringing the wrong number first undoes nothing, but it can turn a quiet night into a loud one. Find the line below that matches where the person is now and start there. Every one of them ends the same way: then ring us, at whatever hour it is.
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At home, expected, with hospice care
Call the hospice, not 911. The hospice nurse comes, confirms the death and does the first part of the paperwork. Calling 911 instead brings police and an ambulance crew who have no choice but to treat it as an emergency, and it makes a hard night much harder. When the nurse has been, call us — at any hour.
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At home, unexpected, no hospice
Call 911. Police and emergency services will attend. In New York City a death that was not expected goes to the Medical Examiner, who decides whether an examination is needed. The person will be taken into their care first, not ours, and we collect them afterwards. Call us anyway, as soon as you can — we will tell you what is happening and deal with that office on your behalf.
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In a hospital
There is no hurry at all. The hospital will confirm the death and will keep the person safely for as long as it takes you to decide. Nobody will press you that night. When you are ready, tell the nurse which funeral home you have chosen, and call us. We do the rest with them directly.
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In a nursing home or care facility
Tell the nurse in charge, then call us. The facility has a routine for this and will have already contacted the doctor who signs. Some ask a family to name a funeral home quickly; you may take longer than they suggest, and you may change your mind afterwards.
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In another state, or abroad
Call us before you arrange anything locally. It is almost always cheaper and simpler to have one funeral home lead, and it can be either end. We will talk to the funeral home there, or to the consulate, and tell you honestly which way round costs less. Do not agree to anything at the far end while you are still in shock at the near end.
What we ask you on that call
The first call is short on purpose. We are not arranging a funeral on it — we are finding out where to come, who you are, and where to ring you back.
What to have to hand tonight
Four things, and only four. If one of them is not to hand, ring anyway and say so — starting with a gap in it is better than searching a house in the dark.
The person's full legal name
As it appears on official documents, including any middle name.
Where they are now
The hospital, the address, or the name of the facility.
Who you are to them
So we know at the start whether the law puts the decision in your hands or somebody else's.
A telephone number for you
One that will be answered in the morning.
New York sets an order of who may decide, beginning with anyone the person appointed in writing. It is worth knowing which of you it puts the decision with, before the meeting rather than during it.
The question about who you are to them is not paperwork. It decides who the law will ask to sign, and it is better answered now than in the meeting. Who has the authority to decide
What happens after you ring us
Very little of it needs you. This is the part of the night that is ours, and none of it waits on a decision about the funeral.
One of us comes to where they are
Wherever that is, and at whatever hour. Refrigeration from the hour of arrival, and one of us present at every transfer.
They are cared for from the hour they arrive
Refrigeration, which everyone in our care has, from the hour they arrive — and that is the whole of what happens overnight. Embalming, cosmetic preparation, anything at all beyond keeping somebody safely: we ask, in writing, and a family that declines is not asked again.
We deal with whoever else is involved
The hospital, the nursing home, or the Medical Examiner's office if the death has gone there. We speak to them and find out where it has got to, so you do not have to.
We ring you back in daylight
Usually the day after the death, in daylight, and it takes about ninety minutes. Nothing before it commits you to any of it.
What cannot happen tonight, whoever you call
Knowing this early saves a night of ringing relatives with a date that then moves. Three things are not available at three in the morning, and no funeral home anywhere can make them so.
- Registering the death. We file the death certificate with the city, electronically, once the medical part is signed. This is the step everything else waits on.
- The burial or cremation permit. Nothing can be buried or cremated without it. It follows the registration, so a delay in the certification is a delay in the funeral, which is why we chase the certifying doctor rather than waiting.
- We cannot promise you a date until three other people have agreed to it. The certifying doctor, the cemetery or crematory, and whoever is leading the service.
No date is fixed until the certificate is registered, the permit is issued and the cemetery or crematory has agreed to the day. We give you the honest range meanwhile.
Two of those wait on a signature that is not ours to give. We do not decide the cause of death, and we cannot hurry it
Questions people ask in the first hour
The four asked most often, in roughly the order they are asked.
Someone has just died. What do I do first?
It depends where they are, and the answer is on the first-hours page. If they were at home under hospice care, call the hospice rather than 911. If it was unexpected, call 911. In a hospital or a facility, the staff will confirm it and keep the person safely, and there is no rush at all. Then call us, at any hour.
Do I have to decide about the funeral tonight?
No. The only decision in the first hours is which funeral home to call, and even that can be changed. Burial or cremation, a service or none, which day, who speaks — all of it waits until the morning and waits longer if you need it to.
How much does a funeral cost?
It depends almost entirely on one decision — burial or cremation — and then on whether there is a viewing and what casket or urn is chosen. This is a demonstration site so it prints no prices at all. What a real funeral home owes you is a printed list you can take away, given to you at the start of the conversation rather than at the end, and prices over the telephone if you ask.
Can I get prices without coming in?
Yes, and you should not have to give your name to do it. Any funeral home in the United States has to give you price information over the telephone if you ask for it.
When it is morning
Two pages, in this order. Neither of them needs reading tonight.
- What we need from you — the four things we asked on the telephone, and the eight more the death certificate wants. None of it has to come out of anybody's memory.
- The arrangement meeting — Usually the day after the death, in daylight, and it takes about ninety minutes.
If you need to talk to somebody now
The telephone is answered at every hour of every day. Nothing has to be decided on that call, and nothing said on it is final.