Questions
Questions people ask first
Grouped rather than listed, because somebody reading this at three in the morning needs the first group and nothing else.
Right now, tonight
The two questions everybody asks in the first hour. Both answers are shorter than people expect them to be, and the second one is the important one.
Someone has just died. What do I do first?
It depends where they are, and the answer is on the first-hours page. If they were at home under hospice care, call the hospice rather than 911. If it was unexpected, call 911. In a hospital or a facility, the staff will confirm it and keep the person safely, and there is no rush at all. Then call us, at any hour.
Do I have to decide about the funeral tonight?
No. The only decision in the first hours is which funeral home to call, and even that can be changed. Burial or cremation, a service or none, which day, who speaks — all of it waits until the morning and waits longer if you need it to.
Arrangements, and what moves the cost
Burial or cremation is the decision that moves the money more than every other decision put together. There are no figures on this site at all, and the note under this paragraph says why.
No prices on this site. There is no price anywhere on this site, and that is deliberate. This is a demonstration and any figure here would be invented — a made-up price for a funeral is worse than none, because somebody would plan against it. What a real funeral home owes you is a printed list you can take away.
How much does a funeral cost?
It depends almost entirely on one decision — burial or cremation — and then on whether there is a viewing and what casket or urn is chosen. This is a demonstration site so it prints no prices at all. What a real funeral home owes you is a printed list you can take away, given to you at the start of the conversation rather than at the end, and prices over the telephone if you ask.
Can I get prices without coming in?
Yes, and you should not have to give your name to do it. Any funeral home in the United States has to give you price information over the telephone if you ask for it.
Is embalming required?
Not ordinarily. Everyone in our care is refrigerated. Embalming becomes a practical necessity for a public viewing several days after the death, and it is usually required for travel abroad. It is never done here without written authority from the family.
Is cremation cheaper than burial?
Almost always, mostly because burial brings a cemetery's charges with it — the grave, the opening and closing, the outer container, the care of the plot. Direct cremation, with no service, is the least expensive arrangement there is, and we are required to offer it.
Can I have a service if I choose cremation?
Yes, any service you like, with the body present, exactly as you would for a burial. Cremation is a disposition rather than a kind of funeral. You can also hold the memorial weeks later, which many families find easier.
Can I buy a casket somewhere else?
Yes. No funeral home in the United States may refuse to use a casket or urn you bought elsewhere, and none may charge you a handling fee for it.
Paperwork, timing and what a family is entitled to
How long it takes, why it sometimes takes longer, how many certified copies to order, and the entitlements that go unclaimed because nobody in the family knew to ask.
No date is fixed until the certificate is registered, the permit is issued and the cemetery or crematory has agreed to the day. We give you the honest range meanwhile.
How many copies of the death certificate do I need?
Ten is a sensible number for an ordinary estate. Each bank, each insurer and each pension will keep one, and a photocopy is almost never accepted. A second order is slower and costs more, so it is worth over-ordering slightly.
How soon can the funeral be?
Four to seven days is common for a burial and a little longer for a cremation. It waits on the doctor's certification, then the registration, then the permit — and then on the cemetery's or crematory's diary. We will give you an honest range rather than a date we cannot hold.
The death was sudden. Why is it taking longer?
A death that was sudden, unattended or unexplained goes to the Medical Examiner, who decides whether an examination is needed. That office does not work to our timetable and cannot be hurried. We chase it daily and we tell you honestly where it has got to.
Someone died in another state. Can you help?
Yes, and it is arranged all the time. Ring us before you agree to anything at the other end — usually one funeral home should lead, it can be either end, and which way round is cheaper is worth knowing before you commit.
Can you send someone home to another country?
Yes. It needs the consulate's paperwork, embalming and a sealed container in most cases, and airline handling at both ends. Two to three weeks is common. Tell us at the start if anyone is waiting on a visa to travel.
My father was a veteran. What is he entitled to?
Possibly burial in a national cemetery at no cost to the family, a government headstone or marker, a burial flag, a memorial certificate, military honours at the service, and an allowance towards the funeral. It all starts with the discharge papers. We ask about service at every arrangement, because a great deal of this goes unclaimed.
Who decides what happens, if the family disagrees?
New York sets an order of priority, starting with anyone the person appointed in writing, then a spouse or domestic partner, then adult children equally, and so on. Where people at the same level disagree we cannot break the tie and will not take sides; it goes to a court.
Planning ahead, this building, and this website
Writing it down in advance, holding the service somewhere else, what happens afterwards, getting into the building — and the last question, which is the one this site has to answer honestly.
Should I pay for my funeral in advance?
Writing down what you want costs nothing and is worth doing at any age. Paying in advance is a separate, financial decision that suits some people and not others. In New York the money goes into a trust in your name and stays yours until you make it irrevocable. What a pre-payment does and does not guarantee has to be written into the agreement line by line.
Can we hold the service at our own church or temple?
Yes, and we do it constantly. We do not lead the rite ourselves — the clergy or celebrant is yours, and we work to them. If you have nobody, we will find someone good and let you choose.
Do you offer grief counselling?
No. We ring at a month and again at a year, we keep a list of what is available near here, and you can sit in the reception room without an appointment. None of that is counselling and we will not call it counselling. If you need a counsellor, ask a doctor for a referral.
Is the building accessible?
There is a ramp at the front and level access from the covered porch to the chapel, the reposing rooms and the reception room, with a hearing loop and two accessible bathrooms. There is no lift to the first-floor office, so we come down to you. The full list is on the accessibility page.
Is this a real funeral home?
No. This is a demonstration website built to show what a small business gets for a fixed price. Nobody answers the telephone number, no arrangement made here reaches anybody, and the people described on this site do not exist. If someone has died, please call a real funeral director in your area.
Nobody is at the other end of this. This is a demonstration website. Woodside Memorial Funeral Home is not a real funeral home, nobody answers the telephone number on this site, and no arrangement made here reaches anybody. If someone has died and you need a funeral director, please call a real one in your area.
If your question is not here
These are the ones that get asked. Anything else is a telephone call, and the call is not a commitment to anything.
- The first few hours — what to do tonight, depending on where the person is.
- What it costs, and why — the categories, and which decisions move them.
- The paperwork, in order — what has to happen before a date can be fixed.
- Policies — the standing commitments, including the ones you are already owed.
If the question is about somebody who has just died
Ring rather than read. The telephone is answered at every hour of every day, and nothing has to be decided on that call.